A blog reader who read my book The Last Virgin Alive sent me a chat message on Facebook. She was depressed somehow and she asked me the question I posted below. She want an answer on the go and I told her I'll not be the only one that will answer her question. I asked her if I should involve my blog readers and Facebook fans and she said she would appreciate it.
So guys, a friend needs our advice. Please don't ignore because she's one of us. Thanks. Here's her question as transcribed by me...
"No, we (her boyfriend and her) have been going out since we got into
University, that is like 7 years ago. We are both done with school and he has
gotten a good job and lives alone now while I am still in the process of
getting a job. We get along well but he has just refused to pop the question so
we can get married and move on with our lives. I know he loves and respects me
but this his delay in getting married to me is beginning to bother me. I have
been asking myself if he is thinking of dumping me but his care and affection
says otherwise. Should I pick up courage in asking him why he hasn't or I
shouldn't border?"
You can read all of our chat after the cut...
27 comments:
Maybe his waiting to get more money to give you a good wedding.
Maybe his waiting to get more money to give you a good wedding.
Take style ask am his plans 4 u.
LOL...ask him let's see what he says...it isbecause u seem comfortable with just dating him that is why he sees no reason to make it official. I bet if u two break up, he will get married in 6 months
Pick the courage, let the relationship be defined and his goal for you. A serious minded lady needs to know this to avoid stories that touches.
Y not,tym wait 4 no one dear
U r talking of courage when dis is all abt ur destiny. U better summon all boldness, and not just courage to confront him to knw was up if not u get to menopause b4 ever he wil remember to pop up d question.
U r talking of courage when dis is all abt ur destiny. U better summon all boldness, and not just courage to confront him to knw was up if not u get to menopause b4 ever he wil remember to pop up d question.
y dear, ask him what his plans are, for your own good.
My friend was with a guy for 7yrs and it didn't end in marriage, she is getting married in June to a guy she met late last year.
My neighbour cohabitated with his GF for 5yrs, broke up with her in October and wedded another girl in January. Now don't ask me how that happened cos I was equally surprised.
Humans are unpredictable. Your boyfriend may not be viewing the relationship from your own angle. I advice you ask him indirectly, so you know where the relationship is heading to.
y dear, ask him what his plans are, for your own good.
My friend was with a guy for 7yrs and it didn't end in marriage, she is getting married in June to a guy she met late last year.
My neighbour cohabitated with his GF for 5yrs, broke up with her in October and wedded another girl in January. Now don't ask me how that happened cos I was equally surprised.
Humans are unpredictable. Your boyfriend may not be viewing the relationship from your own angle. I advice you ask him indirectly, so you know where the relationship is heading to.
My dear, ask him what his plans are, for your own good.
My friend was with a guy for 7yrs and it didn't end in marriage, she is getting married in June to a guy she met late last year.
My neighbour cohabitated with his GF for 5yrs, broke up with her in October and wedded another girl in January. Now don't ask me how that happened cos I was equally surprised.
Humans are unpredictable. Your boyfriend may not be viewing the relationship from your own angle. I advice you ask him indirectly, so you know where the relationship is heading to.
Yes o, ask him what his plans are for u 'cos 7yrs is not a joke. Forget about what he's doing for u. He might be doing it out of guilt of what he intends to do. If u notice that he's not interested in walking u down the aisle, my dear, pull the cord before u get fried! U will hurt of course, but time will heal ur pains.
I fink u shld get a job first and maybe giv him little tym.....dont be pushy abt it
my dear if u are so eager though is too long(relationship) just put it in prayer bcos time wait for no man.
My dear,stop being naive and ignorant.Ask him when he will do the necessary things.You cant spend all your youthful years fornicating with him. Communication is very important in every relationship.Let him tell u what is stoping him since he has a good job.Remember in marriage,time can wait for the man but not the woman.
Pls voice out oooo 4d earlier d better so dat u tak option B b4 its too late.
Long time dating is not really ideal for dis is d reason y some ladies get heart broken after long years in r/ship. Males taste's for their ladies in long r/ship changes unlike d ladies which is constant.
Ask him. Don't make it too obvious. Say you're trying to plan your life and you've been doing a lot of thinking as you aren't getting any younger. Since he's a part of your life, you want to know whether his own plans for the future include you and if so, in what way? I really do not know why females do this thing, from the get go when you start dating someone, you really should discuss the age at which you plan on getting married. Don't wait too long. The really sad bit is that if both of you break up, he'll probably meet someone younger than you and marry them in a heart beat. Girl, be proactive...if he has no plans to
Ask him. Don't make it too obvious. Say you're trying to plan your life and you've been doing a lot of thinking as you aren't getting any younger. Since he's a part of your life, you want to know whether his own plans for the future include you and if so, in what way? I really do not know why females do this thing, from the get go when you start dating someone, you really should discuss the age at which you plan on getting married. Don't wait too long. The really sad bit is that if both of you break up, he'll probably meet someone younger than you and marry them in a heart beat. Girl, be proactive...if he has no plans to marry you, you really should know now so you can make other arrangements. Good luck.
That means you have been jigging and shagging with this guy and also exercising your vibrant energy for full 7yrs? Well, don't be surprise the guy is done with you and his waiting for you to do a slight mistake then, you gonna back your load just as GEJ is gonna do 29th May, 2015..... Lip sealed!!!
Do you Think At all...They have been together f or 7years and you advice her not to be pushy..babe you better ask him where your relationship is heading to!! Be smart no time.
And this is why they continue to abuse and disrespect us as women. You are telling me your parents put you through university and you are coming here to insinuate that UNTIL HE POPS THE QUESTION YOUR LIFE IS AT A STANDSTILL? ohmygosh! What a life hindering problem. Just stay there you hear? Don't move or do anything oh! Jst be waiting. Sit there and wait it's coming.
What FOOLISHNESS!
You sound like the type that has played house, done everything a wife would do and is now waiting for a proposal.
I don't see you getting one. But what do I know, I'm not God. Best of luck mate.
Maybe you should try carrying on with your life instead of acting like your life depended on it and maybe Jst maybe my nigga might get scared to lose you.
You sound like the type that has played house, done everything a wife would do and is now waiting for a proposal.
I don't see you getting one. But what do I know, I'm not God. Best of luck mate.
Maybe you should try carrying on with your life instead of acting like your life depended on it and maybe Jst maybe my nigga might get scared to lose you.
Babe u better propose to ur man, some men get slowmotion for body. Trust me if u no sharp up nah from em office figure 8 go snatch am frm u. Dis nah my advise to u.
I don't think he is ready or better still he is just afraid of settling down. Pls ask him, if he is not forth coming find ur way d earlier d better 4 you. Dats wat I did o. U can't continue longing 4 d Big Question, ask n if he doesn't give a positive answer pls free him.
My dear u shud hv ask him earlier, b4 moving on, be wise some guys re looking for fault b4 breaking up, pls ask him, if he does want, pls quit.
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