Tuesday, 22 April 2014
Don’t Be Ashamed and Afraid of Being Single on Campus! Tessy Nkennor Says So!!
A girlfriend confessed to me the other day that she was embarrassed to be single in her university. She said, it was as if she was the only girl on campus who is without a guy in her life and she felt so embarrassed as if she were at fault for being Single, "I really, really felt inferior and excluded".
Despite how my friend and many other Single
ladies feel, there is no reason to feel ashamed about being Single even in your final year at the university.
Don't get me wrong, I am very romantic and I love love. So I know first hand that going through university with that special man in your life can be wonderful. But I also know that sometimes many of us are Single for so many reasons and we do feel embarrassed about it.
That embarrassment can force many of us to
hide at our hostels and cut ourselves off from friends and the rest of the world, because we don't want people to know we can't attract a guy who deem you pretty enough to ask you out.
Others will humiliate themselves by lying about having a guy back home, when we know good and well that there's no Prince Charming waiting for us to graduate. And then there are those of us who will go out
with that dude that we don't really like, so we
end up leading him on, in addition to showing you too can hook a guy when you could
have just wait for Mr. Right to come along.
Well, to be fair, that embarrassment that forces us to take such measures isn't really our fault. We are conditioned to see marriage as the norm, so being single is often seen as being abnormal.
We are taught that you attract a guy only because you are a beautiful damsel and therefore, being Single must mean you're damn ugly and unattractive… something that we ladies often blame ourselves for.
But here's the thing…. I don't think just getting a guy to ask you out is all about being pretty and here is why.
There is guy for every lady out there irrespective of your looks. Let's admit it. There are still guys out there who date a girl just because of her character. I have seen a guy who break up with a very pretty girl just because he doesn't like her character just to date and eventually marry a less pretty that is not as beautiful as his first girl. Well that a topic for another day.
I pity some girls who feel ashamed when their room mate got picked up on a date by their boyfriend. They just feel like 'I wish that was me!" My dear, thank your God because most of these dates don't last past the final year because these guy just want someone to spend the next four years with, a girl to keep him company through his stay in the university and your room mate is a victim.
Here's the truth that guys will tell you upfront, but the sound of it only make you feel wanted and loved. One of the first thing a guy will tell you is that he needs a girl in his life. Yes, its the truth, but not the whole truth. What that guy told your roomate was that he need a girl that will fill up his loneliness during his study time on campus. What he didn't tell her was that he himself doesn't want to feel like he can't ask a girl out and your roomate is his victim.
That's all we've got time for. Join me this time tomorrow for the concluding part on: Don't Be Ashamed, Afraid and Embarrassed for Being Single on Campus! Tessy Says So!!
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7 comments:
Sis Tessy thank you for these words. They are just what our so called campus girls need to hear. Actually, this is my first visit to your blog and am already blessed. Thanks
Right on point! Am sending this to all my Facebook friends. They need to learn fro this. Bless you sis tessy
So true! Thank you sister tessy nkennor for sharing this. My friends must learn from this post
Straight to the point! Yes, all are true and its exactly what happens on campus. Ladies who doesn't have a boyfriend want to nail one just to feel among which is so wrong. I wish all our ladies can learn from this blog. Pls ma we are waiting for the concluding part.
I have a coursemate who happens to be a victim of what Sis Tessy said. She was so lonely and desperate for a boyfriend by the time we reached year three. Then she forced herself on a guy who never took her serious. he treated her like a trash. she virtually give him everything she has or was given from home and still the guy doesn't give a care. then she got pregnant for him and the guy rejected the pregnancy that she should abort it cos he can't marry her. it was so serious that she was devastated.
Nice article. Exactly what our sisters need to hear. Thank you ma
Nice One. Great
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